Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Randomize
