After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
