And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
