i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
