jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
