We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
