I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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