We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
