we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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