I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
