I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
