But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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