dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
