I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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