this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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