I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
