Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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