Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
