Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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