So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
