the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
