He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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