SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
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