Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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