We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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