Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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