i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
