it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
