The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
