You really coming over, don't trick.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
