OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
