Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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