who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
