I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
