You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
