I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Rumble strips road head = magical
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
