He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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