I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
