They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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