i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
