I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize