my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
That reminds me...we need to get swords
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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