These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
