I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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