Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
