So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
