everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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