i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
