I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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