thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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