Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
