You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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